I bet he loved it when a plan came together

Okay, so this isn't really pop culture rlated at all, but on my daily reading of the On This Day page, I learned that this country, at one point, had a vice president named Hannibal .... Pretty cool, huh?

Can puppets fix this country?

Trey Parker and Matt Stone have a new movie project. I'm not sure what Team America: World Police is about, other than police and America, but I know it's made with marionettes. Go to that website to watch the trailer and check out the photo gallery. Some of those puppets have better wardrobes than I do. Puppet sidenote: I'm glad they didn't make a movie with ventriloquists. I'm cool with puppets in general, but that whole voice-throwing thing gets a little creepy.

Bear drinks three dozen beers

Okay, this story doesn't have much pop culture significance, and I just woke up so I can't even think of anything clever to say about it, but it seems a bear in Washington state got wasted on some beer he stole from campers.

It turns out the bear was a bit of a beer sophisticate. He tried a mass-market Busch beer, but switched to Rainier Beer, a local ale, and stuck with it for his drinking binge.

Today's Birthdays....

Today's birthdays have a little something for everyone. For the politico, happy birthday Bill Clinton (and also Tipper Gore)! For the fashionista, happy birthday Coco Chanel! For the geek, happy birthday Gene Roddenberry! For the Canadians, happy birthday Matthew Perry!! .... and they all are lucky enough to share their birthday with John Stamos.

My new boyfriend

Yeah, I know I'm not the sporty type, but I'll make an exception for Australian swimmer Ian Thorpe. Check out the photo on the right side of his website. Doesn't he look like he's from the future? I think we belong together. I mean, he's an Olympic athlete, and I've been swimming every day for, like, three weeks. (But please, when we start dating, don't refer to him as "the Thorpedo." That's too freakin' lame.)

OK, this is kind of old, but still good

So, my friend sent me the link to this document a while back and if you haven't seen it, you need to. Once you read it, you will understand why I am unable to come up with something clever to say about it, because honestly, there isn't a non-sequitur I could possibly craft to top this little doozy.

OK, I'll include a little teaser...

"The sound of Judge Thompson using his penis pump during trial was heard by a number of witnesses..."

Need I say more?

oh, michael!

When you're performing on stage with your brothers, it's cool if everyone wears the same white suit. But when you're on trial for taking advantage of little kids, it looks a little weird if your family shows up at the courthouse dressed like they're your backup singers. I mean, who thought that was a good idea? And is the white supposed to make him look innocent?

Craigslist is my new boyfriend

I heart you craigslist. You never let me down. When I wanted to buy a TV, months and months ago, you surprised me with a ten dollar Lynitron whose only fault was the lack of a remote control. And just this past week, when I decided to get a big-ass TV for the livingroom, you came through again, providing me with a fully functioning 27" Toshiba that set me back a whopping $25. It is to you that I turn when I need to find used electronic equipment for cheap, furniture for Randy's and my platonic love-nest, and ads for classes that I may never take, but never tire of imagining myself actually taking, i.e. http://www.bellaberetta.com.

Craigslist, let's make out on my couch when Randy's not home. I'll make you peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches and won't even make fun of you for not wanting to eat the crusts (even though you do have to admit, that's kind of gay).

Come on, baby. Mama needs a new VCR.

Happy Birthday to Hulk Hogan!

It's the Hulkster's birthday!! It is also the birthday of Will Friedle, the voice of Ron Stoppable and Cory's brother from Boy Meets World... AND it's the 12th anniversary of the opening of the Mall of America. I plan on shopping and watching some Disney channel and finding someone to wrestle with to celebrate.

Collateral

I wouldn’t have picked it myself, because it looked kind of stressful, and as some of you know, I can’t even watch The Sopranos without freaking out. And I didn’t think I’d buy Tom Cruise in such an evil role. I was still thinking of him as the futuristic cop from Minority Report, or you know, Jerry Maguire or something, but somehow that likable Tom Cruisiness is exactly what makes his role in this movie work.

There were a lot of guns, and apparently my back muscles were tense during the entire thing, because now they’re downright sore. But something about Collateral was strangely beautiful. I’m not sure if it was the lighting, or the colors they used, or the soundtrack, or maybe even just the way L.A. looks at night, but somewhere in between all the bloody wounds and dead bodies I started liking this movie a lot.

I’m also glad I went because I got to see a preview for Shaun of the Dead. As the tagline says, it’s “a romantic comedy. With zombies.” I heard a rumor yesterday that zombies are the new pirate. Time to throw away that eyepatch and start practicing your stagger!

Fraggle Rock on DVD

Knight Rider, Alf, and now Fraggle Rock... it's like they're putting our childhoods out on DVD all at once. Truth be told, I never watched the Fraggles all that much (we didn't get many channels when I was little, and I think that was one we were lacking), but the detailed review on ToughPigs.com makes me feel like I've missed out. I like this bit about the show's social commentary:

Back in Gobo and Wembley's room, Wembley reflects on his experience: "It didn't seem like I was a slave. I guess some slavery feels like freedom. I didn't notice what they were doing to me, until... well, until they tried to do it to you." Gobo comforts him: "Well, that's good, Wembley. Know who your friends are." And that's the end of the episode.

And you have to admit that that is pretty remarkable. A puppet show, for kids, and the pro-social message of the day is: "Some slavery feels like freedom." Now, as far as I recall, the take-home messages from other shows of the period were things like "Don't tell lies" and "Eat healthy food."

Hit Store USA seems to be the only place you can buy it online for now, or you can get notified by amazon when they start to carry it.

A moment of silence

The inventor of Pop Rocks died on Monday, July 26th. (And no, it's not because he was drinking soda while eating the candy). According to the article, he spent his life fighting to dispel that myth.

Bonus links:
How Stuff Works: Pop Rocks Candy
A Pop Rocks fansite

On a completely different topic, I have a Verizon cell phone, and like it a lot. But I don't think my phone company would lie for me. Cingular has a new service called Escape-A-Date where they'll give you a rescue phone call to help you escape a blind date that's not going very well.

Here's an example from the press release:

Hey, this is your escape-a-date call. If you're looking for an excuse, I got it. Just repeat after me, and you'll be on your way!

"Not again! Why does that always happen to you? ... Alright, I'll be right there." Now tell 'em that your roommate got locked out, and you have to go let them in. Good luck!

The name Cingular sounds like it's meant for single people, so maybe that's affecting their marketing strategy?

Hilary tells you a story

If you go to the website for A Cinderella Story, you can learn a lot about Hilary Duff's latest movie. But even if (like me) you have no interest at all in seeing it, the website is worth a visit: Click on the picture of a cell phone, answer a few questions about one of your friends, and then send them a link to a page where Hilary tells them a personalized fairytale! I love the idea of Hilary Duff in a recording studio saying all these random words and names just so we could listen to her and laugh. I would watch a tape of that. In fact, I think I'd rather watch that than her movie. (Note to Fred: you would so have gotten a fairytale if the virtual Hilary knew how to pronounce Joey Lawrence.)

Hey, lay off the pressure!

The New York Times has an article about Arrested Development that talks about how people are treating the show as if it's the only hope for the future of sitcoms. I hate that people are putting the show's writers under that kind of stress. It's like they're saying, "Be funny, your whole career depends on it!" But maybe it's sort of true.

In case you don't have a Times login, I'll just paste my favorite paragraph here. It talks about potential storylines they're considering for the next season. Whether they'll actually be used or not, this sneak peek make it easier to deal with the wait until November 7, when the new season premieres:

The writers want to make Tobias, the David Cross character, an understudy for the Blue Man Group, thus requiring him to constantly wait by the phone wearing blue makeup. They may introduce a new member of the family who -- like the missing sister on "The Osbournes" -- had previously refused to participate. "I'd love to go back through scenes from the first season and show her being blurred out in the background," Mr. Hurwitz said, laughing. Most audaciously, he would like Michael, Mr. Bateman's character, to chew out his son for being attracted to a cousin, then fall in love with a woman who will be played by Mr. Bateman's real-life sister, the actress Justine Bateman.

Cable saves the best movies for Sunday afternoon...

I just caught the last thirty seconds of the 1984 flick 'Sheena', starring Tanya Roberts (Donna's mom on That 70's Show) and Ted Wass (Blossom's dad on, er, Blossom). All I saw was a little talking to animals and a little making out, but that's pretty much all I need to know when a movie is good. The info bar told me it also involved mercenaries, and maybe a murder or something. All I can tell you is that the closing shot of the movie is Tanya Roberts riding across the desert on a zebra.. which I'm certain I haven't seen before. If you like movies with TV moms and dads or movies where people talk to animals or you're just looking for something to do on a Sunday afternoon, check out 'Sheena'.... it's available on DVD!