Now I know my O.C. ABC's...
The ABC's of The O.C.

In 1990, a fledgling network named FOX gave teenagers what they sorely needed: a new television home. With the help of Aaron Spelling, the Ben Franklin of television (both in age and innovation), the nation was hypnotized by the daily struggles of the Walshes. Could this simple Minnesota family come to terms with the exotic and pampered lifestyles of Beverly Hills 90210, a small California town full of Gucci bags and Mercedes hags?

After ten years, numerous cast changes and thousands of dollars in plastic surgery, 90210 was cancelled, but FOX didn't wait long to return to the extravagance and troubles of teenage life in a Southern California town. This time, they headed down the Pacific Coast and landed squarely in the oceanfront community of Newport Beach. Thus, The O.C. was born.

As 90210 taught us how to avoid drugs, drunk driving and wearing the same dress your best friend has to the prom, The O.C. has given us a new form of our beloved alphabet.

O.A. is for Overeaters Anonymous. Since the female cast trots around in tight jeans and nothing larger than a size 4, I feel you won't find any of them at one of these meetings anytime soon.

O.B. is for o.b., the official feminine product of The O.C. (That's what the lady at Duane Reade told me, so it must be true.)

O.C. is for Orange County. No I'm not talking about the movie filled with celebrity progenies (starring Tom Hanks' son and Sissy Spacek's daughter, and directed by Lawrence Kasden's son.) Coincidentally, California , the song over the closing credits of that cameo-filled flick is the theme song to the TV show. And Nicolas Cage's cousin is the drummer. Damn nepotism!!

O.D. is for overdose. Since the show is early on, no one has died. But everyone knows the clock is ticking on Oliver, Marissa's new therapy buddy, Rooney fan and lover of all things cocaine.

O.E. is for Olde English. When streetwise Ryan and his new "brother" Seth strayed from the golden roads of Newport and wandered into the rough and tumble neighborhood of Long Beach (LBC to all my homies), they must've indulged in this fine local beverage. Anyone got a Newport to wash this down?

O.F. is for Old Fart. Example: If you've never heard of the The O.C., you're either an infant or an Old Fart.

O.G. That role belongs to Sandy Cohen, the surfing lawyer and cool dad who rescues Ryan from the ghetto. He knows what its like to be an outsider since he's from New York, lives off the money of his wealthy wife Kirsten, and is a Jew.

O.H. If Sandy Cohen is the show's O.G., then Kirsten Cohen is the show's Original Hottie. Coupled with the evil Julie Cooper, these ladies are making MILFS as mainstream as the White Stripes.

O.I. My little cousin asked me if I could help him study his multiplication tables Wednesday night. I said " Oh, I have plans. Sorry." Yeah, plans to watch The O.C.!

O.J. is for O.J. Simpson. He's an alumnus of USC as is Josh Schwartz, the creator of The O.C. (Thanks, Google!)

O.K. Uh-oh! It's 9:50 pm and Ryan's umpteenth mess-up appears to be his ticket back to the wrong side of the tracks. Leave it to Super Dad and/or Guardian Sandy to make sure that everything will be O.K.

O.L. With Seth Cohen fully entrenched in a love triangle between the gold-digging Summer and gold-hearted Anna, I can't help but wish I had his problems in high school. Since I can't, I just put my throaty faux-British accent and remark " Oh, Lovely!"

O.M. When FOX decided to stop showing The O.C. for weeks on end to accommodate the World Series, I got so angry that I took up meditation. I sat down, crossed my legs and start to recite "Om, Om, Om," Since that didn't work, I just put on a marathon of Unwrapped.

O.N. The Key Initials to enjoying The O.C. ! " "Are Marissa and Ryan getting it on ?" "Yup!" "Will Summer and Anna get it on ?" "Hopefully." "What else is on ?" "Nothing. Now sit down and enjoy the O.C.!"

O.O. As the stakes get higher and outfits get skimpier, one can't help but remark, "Ooooo..."

O.P. stands for Ocean Pacific, that 80s surfing company whose comeback thrives off the success of The O.C.

O.Q. stands for the OQ award, an award created for Belgian Radio in honor of the birth of Princess Elisabeth. The princess may be two years old and Belgian, but I'm sure she'd be a fan of The O.C., don't you think?

O.R. is for operating room. That's where Ryan took his nemesis and O.C a-hole Luke when he got shot by some boy from the hood. From there, their icy relationship began to thaw into a drippy embarrassing mess.

O.S. According to some message board posting I found at 3 a.m., all scripts for the O.C. are typed on a G5 that uses a top secret OS that can run faster than Chester Cheetah and the Iraqi National Army combined.

O.T. Just when you think the episode is going to need some overtime to resolve this mess, all is fixed just in time for your local news, a.k.a. the first reality series.

O.U. is the short hand term for kosher, the way Sandy Cohen lives his life. He eats bacon and shrimp but he's The O.C. 's moral glue, keeping this boat of teenage sinners from drowning.

O.V. According to, OV stands for overflow as in " The O.C. has an overflow of fine, fine ladies. Now what's on Cinemax?"

O.W. is for Old Women, a cast demographic The O.C. is completely devoid of. I mean, no woman on that show is over 38. God Bless America!

O.X. There's no oxen on this show, but I'm sure someone's going introduce it as the new trendy food that sweeping its way through Newport's stomachs.

O.Y. When my Mom catches me watching The O.C. , she just can't help shaking her head in bewilderment and letting out a concerned "Oy!"

O.Z. After spending an hour in TV's own personal Oz, all I can say is "There's no place like the O.C., there's no place like the O.C., there's no place like the O.C..."

--Jay Bergenfeld

Want more of The O.C.?
Check out Julie's O.C. drawings.
Visit the show's official website.
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