Secondhand Celebrity!

Ilana Urbach
Audio babe

Celebrity Encounter: Dave Attell

The Encounter:
Dave and Ilana
A Photoshop reenactment of the meeting, by Meredith Riley.
I was working on a food show that was taping in Honolulu. When we walked into the restaurant where we were shooting that night, the first person I saw was Dave Attell. He was standing with a few other people talking to the owner, apparently scouting for his show. No one else I was with knew who he was, so they were nowhere near as excited as I was.

Our cameraman and the director were talking so I decided to go introduce myself. I figured since we walked in with a bunch of gear I wouldn't come off as too much of a lame-o fan. Besides, everyone in the restaurant recognized our show's host, but I seemed to be the only one who recognized Dave Attell. I shook his hand and told him I was a big fan, he said thanks and we talked for a little bit. He was really nice. He actually looks much better in person than on the show. I think that's because he wasn't drunk yet. When he's not all bleary-eyed and red he has really nice skin. It looked like baby skin; if I had been drunk I would have tried to touch it. Then his producer and my producer came over and made us get back to work.

Insomniac and the show I work on have a brief history of nearly crossing paths. We've shot in a lot of the same restaurants, sometimes only a day apart. On a recent trip, both our crews were shooting in Austin at the same time. I didn't meet him that time, but everywhere we went people were like, "Dave was just here." Our producer tried to get a hold of Dave so we could put him in the show, but he didn't call us back. Our paths are meant to cross again. It's fate. So if you're out there, Dave Attell, I'm the cute girl with flowers in her hair from Hawaii, and I'll totally make out with you.

How sure are you that it was actually Dave Attell and not just a look alike?
Have you seen Dave Attell? There are not a whole lot of people who look like him and have an entourage.

What was he wearing?
Jeans and a light colored button shirt, pretty casual.

How close did you get to him?
Not as close as I wanted to, but I did touch him.

What did he smell like?
I don't remember him smelling bad. In fact he was altogether much cleaner than I would've thought he'd be.

Was he taller or shorter than you expected?
I knew he was a short guy, but he was only a little shorter than me, not as tiny as I thought.

Did he take your picture with his disposable camera? Did he look like he'd been up all night?
He didn't take my picture, and I didn't get to take his because everyone had left their cameras back at the hotel. Between two TV crews you would think I could get one lousy picture of me and Dave, but no. [Editor's note: Thanks to the miracle of modern Photoshop technology, Ilana now has the picture she wanted! See above.]

What celebrity would you most like to have an encounter with?
Depends on what you mean by encounter.

How has meeting Dave Attell changed your life?
Now I keep an eye out, because you never know when you're going to run into another cable show. Maybe I'll be on the Jamie Kennedy Experiment next week.

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